One of the biggest and most classic mistakes women probably make after a cute fling or a breakup is set themselves up on the rebound. It's like once reality gives some of us a slap in the face to tell us we're single we make a desperate attempt to attack back, proving we can get any guy we please.  Even if this means flirting with strange men at the local 7 Eleven store (which, I'll have you know, is totally revolting.  like EEEEEeeeewww, must we even go there ladies???  I mean, how desperate can we really be?). If not for that reason, we fill the void of feeling outrageously lonesome by grumbling widly about in our pjs, eating ridiculous amounts of ice cream, binge drinking or crawling under thick bed sheets and waiting there to die alone.  And as much as all of us may need this at times, I'm beginning to wonder if getting over some guys is worth all that fuss.  For instance, as certain experiences with boys pretending to be men has taught us, most can and will be REAL jerks. Perverts, stalkers, alcoholics, druggies, sex addicts, thieves, liars, gangsters, absentees, gamblers, whiners, jealous types, players, cheaters, verbal abusers, workaholics, guys who love women as punch bags  ...the list is pretty much endless from there. And what's worse is many of us choose to believe that there isn't anyone else better to be with. That perhaps because most guys are jerks there is a slim chance the next guy to catch our eye will be any less painless (which is why we may choose to work things out to the very end). But just think of how hateful we're being to ourselves in the process.  Unhealthy, longterm relationships such as these will turn the days we spend with these creeps into weeks, weeks into months, and sometimes months into years. All this time we share with people that don't truly love/care/respect who we are as women is time we'll NEVER be able to regain that true sense of happiness we should have deserved while we were with them, right from the start. And who's to say that in that stretch of time we wasted with Mr. creep heads we could have ended up with our prince charmings.  Incredible odds, but optimistically speaking, I swear it can happen.

Whatever the reason was that one of your past dating relationships had to come to an abrupt and sad end, there's no reason to cry endlessly over someone so downright cruel and insensitive. Sure, give yourself time to heal and yes,  it's definitely okay to cry your feelings out till your eyes run out of tears (you've been hurt so badly and need quality time to vent). But please, DON'T do so FOREVER!  Remember, the more time you spend dwelling over the negative feelings of the past, is time you will NEVER regain that happiness you are so worthy of having.  Not only that, but by doing so you're only giving the guy the power to control your emotions once again.  Definitely a no no for what we're striving for here.

I think that if us girls were to step back for a second and think about what qualities we don't want in guys more than what qualities we often fantasize about, we can set much higher standards for ourselves. Fantasizing over good looks, magnetic charm, cute butts, infectious smiles, sexy voices, etc. is all great fun (okay I'll be honest, "DANGEROUSLY delicious" fun...hehe) but in some ways I think these aspects can blind us towards seeing the true colours of someone's personality.  Let's face it...it's sooooo so easy to get caught up in the moment of infatuation that we often ignore the "signs" of what may not be suitable for us in a serious and long lasting relationship. Because we like or love the person soooo much, we're willing to sacrifice a lot of things for them without really using our heads. Because we only believe what we choose to believe, we sometimes cut them too much slack, make up excuses for them, sometimes even lie for them. Well no more I say!!  It's time we take matters into our own hands for a change and let guys know that if they're wanting to score a hot date with us they're going to have to earn it first. No matter how flattering their typical pick up lines may be, we have to show them that we can stand our ground with class.  Perhaps if we are to give off the impression that we strongly respect ourselves, they will respect us also.  And maybe, just maybeeee they'll come to understand that we wouldn't settle for any less (fingers crossed that all guys won't be scarecrows when it comes to this one.   Who's with me on this lil' theory I have so far? Any thoughts you'd like to add?